Eastern philosophy offers us a profound metaphor for life – be like water.
Flow like Water When you swim against the current or fight too hard, you exhaust yourself more quickly – you drown faster. When you swim with the current, the flow will carry you effortlessly. Wu Wei – Don’t Try Taoism emphasises the principle of Wu Wei (無為), which translates to "non-action" or "effortless action." This concept encourages living in harmony with the natural flow of life rather than forcing things to happen. Often when we use force, we try very hard to control an outcome, typically against resistance. The term "force" itself is harsh and abrasive, suggesting an attempt to move things against natural order or will. We see this in many aspects of life, particularly in relationships, where using force or trying to control outcomes is not only exhausting, but often doesn’t get us anywhere. Trying too hard, as described in the "backwards law" popularised by Alan Watts, often backfires. When we try overly hard to make someone like us or love us even, it comes across as an unnatural and manipulative energy, having the opposite effect. When we try too hard to push for an outcome, we often create resistance to it. Be Soft Like Water This sentiment encourages us to embrace the fluid changes of existence and the impermanence of life, finding strength in our softness, or the vulnerability even. Water is the softest and most yielding substance. Yet nothing is better than water, for overcoming the hard and rigid, because nothing can compete with it. Water is fluid, soft, and yielding. But water will wear away rock, which is rigid and cannot yield. Lao Tzu Lao Tzu philosophizes in his famous Tao Te Ching that softness overcomes hardness—water is soft and flexible, yet over time, it has the power to erode even the hardest materials like rock and metal. If we observe the life cycle of water, we see that it yields and adapts effortlessly, taking on various forms. In a river, water flows smoothly around rocks and landscapes, adjusting to obstacles without resistance. In an ocean, it becomes part of the waves; in still water, it becomes clear; in a stream, it nurtures the plants and life it encounters. Even when facing the inevitable end of its flow, as it merges with the ocean, the river does so without disturbance or struggle, simply blending into something new. It embraces its own evolution. You cannot step into the same river twice. Heraclitus Water is incredibly resilient to change, taking on various forms—ice, liquid, and vapor. As it adapts to different environments—oceans, rivers, lakes—this flexibility to yield is not seen as a weakness. According to Taoist philosophy, the ability and willingness to yield can actually be a profound strength. The Trap of Rigidity In a world filled with chaos and cruelty, the human mind often seeks clarity by categorising and labelling everything around us—people, things, and situations. We fall into the trap of judgment, labels, and rigid thinking, compartmentalising people into boxes. While this rigidity can serve as a defence mechanism or a survival strategy, it can also keep us stuck—in our past stories, in our fixed ideas about how the future should look, or in our narrow worldview. Things that are brittle and dry break easily, whereas things that are ductile and malleable can bend and adapt without breaking. This flexibility allows them to withstand stress and evolve more effectively. As the saying goes, "Be bamboo, not an oak tree; the bamboo is softer and can bend, whereas the oak is hard and rigid." Those of us who are rigid and stern, unable to adapt to change due to our attachments, often suffer. This rigidity can make us resistant to change, leading to frustration and conflict when the world inevitably shifts around us. Change, impermanence, uncertainty, and loss are natural parts of life. Just as the universe is in a constant state of flux, our minds too must remain flexible and adaptable. By embracing the Taoist philosophy of being like water, as emphasized in Lao Tzu's Tao Te Ching, we can learn to flow with life’s changes rather than resist them. To be truly alive means embracing impermanence, as life itself is a constant flow of change.
