The Art of Seduction - A Summary and Review

Summarising and Making Sense of Robert Greene’s Book 

A Brief Book Review

It is always interesting to see how people react to Robert Greene’s books. The absence of moral judgement within his books often illicit disgust and concern by many, however, his books are not inherently immoral; instead, they adopt an amoral stance. Reserving moral judgment serves as a trademark for Greene, particularly in ‘The 48 Laws of Power.’ ‘The Art of Seduction’ offers insights into human behaviour that might have otherwise eluded us if Greene had adhered to a conventional and morally righteous perspective. Most of the seduction tactics suggested in this book are iniquitous and manipulative, yet human history demonstrates a proclivity towards this behaviour in the pursuit of sex and power. The power in reading Greene’s book lies in it enhancing our ability to discern when others are deploying manipulative tactics over us, enabling us to be better equipped in the game of life and navigating social dynamics. His book reminds us that reproduction is truly the most powerful instinct given to us by evolution and is perhaps the root of many historical events in this world.

A Summary

We, as humans, like to believe that we are civilised and democratic. However, this is merely an illusion. Beneath the veneer of modern societal structures, human behaviour is, at its core, deeply influenced by biological factors. We are primates, and as evidenced throughout history, our instincts drive a persistent inclination towards enslaving, oppressing, and subjugating others.    

Thousands of years ago, power was mostly acquired through physical violence and maintained with brute force. During feudalistic times only a select few held power and those that did were often merciless. No one suffered more under the select scheme of things than women. They were politically disenfranchised, considered subordinate, and had no weapons at their disposal. They lacked the means to compete with or influence men in political, social, or physical realms. However, men had one weakness – their insatiable desire for sex.    

This provided women with leverage. However, power acquired from sex alone is finite, tenuous, and transient. Once a woman would give in to sex, the man would regain control and clarity. Moreover, if she chose to withhold sex, the man would look elsewhere, or back then without consequence, exert force. What use is sex, if its power is so temporary and frail? In response, women developed seduction as a strategic, enduring form of power and influence. Women like Bathsheba from the Old Testament, Cleopatra, and Marilyn Monroe were pioneers in innovating and employing seduction for political and career gains.    

The method was simple, draw men in with allure and physicality, only to turn cold and indifferent as soon as the man felt secure. This invariable withdrawal of affection would cause confusion and men would be forced into pursuit, growing weak, distracted, and emotional in the process. This would induce a sort of dependence and psychological surrender. Many male historical figures suffered this fate – Julius Caesar risking an empire, Mark Anthony losing his power and life for Cleopatra, Arthur Miller struggling to write for years after Marilyn, and Napoleon becoming the laughing stock of Paris over Josephine.    

It was not until the 17th century that men in Europe began to take an interest in seduction as a way to overcome resistance to sex. By the 19th century, as culture became democratised, politicians began employing charisma and speech, sculpting compelling narratives and physical presence to seduce the masses. Today seduction has evolved as a way to acquire power, influence, and change opinions without force. It has little to do with beauty and more to do with the psychological. As Greene describes, ‘it is the meeting of reality and illusion.’ The problem is people always love an illusion.    

The etymology of the word "seduce" comes from the Latin origin "se-ducere," meaning 'to lead astray.' Robert Greene’s book emphasises that people secretly want to be led astray – that we actually seek to escape ourselves and want to be overwhelmed by something beyond us, whether through experience or another person. Seduction is a form of power and persuasion that goes beyond sex, inducing surrender - and what is a more ultimate form of surrender than love?      

The self is a prison, a cage. The daily experience of having to listen to our own thoughts and consciousness can become dreary and solipsistic. Love takes us out of ourselves and entails surrendering to someone else, a sort of transcendent experience where we give ourselves up to something greater. In modern society, ideas about love have become more hedonistic—people care more about satisfying themselves. Today, older traditional ideals of love centred around surrendering oneself to someone else, are commonly viewed as irrational and unsafe. In a world where people seem so fleeting and transient, embracing vulnerability and redirecting our focus outward, away from the confines of self, becomes increasingly rare yet essential in understanding seduction according to Greene. 

There are 9 seducer archetypes emphasised in this book. Before dissecting these archetypes, here are a list of things to take away from this book. If we are to remember anything it should be:   

• We think seduction is about beauty, but it is psychological.
Cleopatra, in reality, wasn't conventionally beautiful – she had a thin face, a pointy nose, and large eyes. Her power did not lie in her looks; but in her charm, political acumen, and her ability to captivate the influential men in her life, embodying their fantasies.      

• We think seduction, charm, or charisma are natural abilities people are born with but they are cultivated skills.
Marilyn Monroe, for instance, spent hours before the mirror practicing her walk and voice. These trademarks were hardly natural but part of a carefully constructed image that took years to create.    

• Seduction is a psychological process that transcends gender; however, different genders are generally susceptible to different things. 
Men are more easily deceived by appearances and have a weakness for the visual. Women have a weakness for words or oratory. 

• Seduction goes beyond sex.  We can be seduced into buying something, voting for someone, or doing something.
 
• The tactics described in this book are inherently manipulative and involve an interplay between stirring unmet needs and playing on emotions to garner psychological power.

• What is repressed is most appealing. 
When something is repressed, it becomes forbidden or taboo. Humans, by nature, are often drawn to what is forbidden or restricted.

• The key to seduction lies in individualising your attention and focus.  Study people and recognise what is missing in their life. 
As Robert Greene says, ‘Get inside their skin, see the world through their eyes.’ Then find their weakness or void and fill this. They will project then their fantasies onto you.

• Everything must be done with absolute devotion and conviction. 
When an actor delivers a half-assed performance, the audience will see through it. When the actor commits to a role with absolute conviction, the audience is also compelled to commit. The same applies to everything else in life.   
 
• Accept you will forge enemies. Not everyone will like you. 
If you are successful, this will arouse envy. This is a part of life, particularly in matters of power or seduction.

• We all have inherently seductive natural qualities and characteristics that we can enhance and build upon with effort.

• We all have at least one or two inherently anti-seductive qualities that stem from self-absorption and insecurity. We must do our best to consciously root them out.  

• We all have inherent wants and needs, often from childhood that make us vulnerable to being seduced by others.

• A fully contented person cannot be seduced.

• In a world where we often view each other through the lense of our own prejudices, we must get rid of any moralising tendencies.

"Much more genius is needed to make love than to command armies" - Ninon de L'Enclos   

The Siren

“A man is often repressed by always having to play a responsible role in society and be in control and rational. The siren is a fantasy for this man as she offers him a release from the limitations of his life.” 

Sirens are characterised by a bold, often sexually heightened, magnetic, and theatrical presence. Whilst most women lack the confidence or are too timid to project such an image, the siren can be feminine even to the point of caricature.         

According to Greene, men are circumscribed by always having to be reasonable and follow the straight path in life. Sirens are often a little bit irrational, or wild, which is immensely attractive to men oppressed by their own reasonableness. This ties back to the point emphasised in Greene’s book – what is most repressed is the most seductive. Find someone’s repressed desires that yearn to be liberated, then offer them back that fantasy.    

Two exemplary historical figures of the siren archetype are Cleopatra and Marilyn Monroe. They both had a duality to them, encompassing a strange mix of innocence and sex. There was a sense of embodying both the innocent girl and the experienced, desiring woman.  

Often this is derived from the voice – Cleopatra is said to have had a lilting sweet voice, whilst Marilyn spent hours cultivating her trademark deep and breathy voice. Marilyn in particular was able to emanate a vulnerability on screen that came from her deep need to be loved. Her yearning for affection on camera was effortless and unintended, likely stemming from her upbringing as she bounced between orphanages and experienced abuse. This vulnerability and innocence combined with her sex appeal was rousing. According to Greene, men subconsciously want the illusion of being the protector or father figure, and thus are drawn to this vulnerability.  

In order to maintain power, the siren archetype also possesses a capriciousness. This constantly keeps the man off balance. As soon as Julius Caesar felt secure with Cleopatra, she would invariably turn cold, forcing him into pursuit and likely appealing to the primitive male instinct that yearns to possess. “You never felt like you could possess her or that she was yours.” The dichotomy is that sirens must at the same time create the illusion of always being available for pleasure. They face scrutiny, more so from their own gender, and are often labelled as promiscuous, or ‘the whore.’

Cleopatra 

In 48 BC, Ptolemy XIV, of Egypt managed to depose and exile his sister/wife Queen Cleopatra (yes, people married their siblings back then). Later that year, Julius Caesar arrived in Alexandria to ensure Egypt’s allegiance to Rome amidst the ongoing power struggles in the region.   

During one of Caesar’s meetings, Cleopatra disguised as a gift, concealed herself inside a large rolled-up carpet. She risked everything to smuggle herself inside the palace and upon her arrival, she arose from out of the carpet, presenting herself half-dressed before Caesar and his guests. She was 21. Her boldness and theatricality left an indelible impression on Caesar, marking the beginning of their relationship.   

Caesar had discarded many mistresses in the past but Cleopatra set herself apart by her ability to offer variety. One minute she would discuss politics, the next she would be dressing up as exotic characters.     

According to Greene, 'a man grows bored with a woman no matter how beautiful. He yearns for different adventures and pleasures.’ Therefore, by creating the illusion of offering variety and adventure, Cleopatra was able to become a ‘one woman spectacle’ and entertain a man. Through her mood swings and capricious behaviour, she was also able to keep men distracted and at a proper distance so he could never get too close or see through her weaknesses. “Never let him see who you really are. Then he will follow you until he drowns.”   

Caesar was murdered in 44 BC and succeeded by Mark Anthony. Cleopatra seduced him initially by dressing up as goddess Aphrodite before proceeding to indulge him in his weaknesses - gambling, raucous salacious parties, costumed orgies, and elaborate spectacles. In an attempt to coax Anthony away from the ‘Egyptian whore’ and get him to come back to Rome, the Roman Triumvirate offered Anthony a virtuous and beautiful wife. However, 3 years later he left his wife to be with Cleopatra again, before eventually losing his power, and his life for her. A man is often ruined by the siren type.   

These archetypes are derived from a historical context and are inherently tied to gender roles. In our modern day, it is tempting to dismiss the siren archetype, or even the above rhetoric as disempowering, however, there is a lot to be learned from the siren. It is essential to acknowledge that women of this era were often forced to pander to men as a means of survival.   

On a more tangential note, despite these archetypes, I want to refrain from categorising humanity based on shallow observations and reject adhering to labels that throughout history have been damaging and oppressive, particularly towards women. 

The female form is multifaceted and nuanced as is humanity. However, women have throughout history been subject to more scrutiny when it comes to sexuality than their male counterparts. 

Bitch. 
Slut. 
Whore. 
Cunt. 

The above words are all primarily aimed at women. They are incredibly damaging labels built to condemn. Virgin and Whore in particular have often been used to categorise women and this rhetoric has notably spread, proliferating within the 'red pill' community.  

Adopt a contrarian stance. Resist subscribing to categories imposed by others in an attempt to pigeonhole. We never have to adhere to just one label, one identity, or one ideology.          

"I am the virgin. 
I am the whore. 

I like the duality of having both sides very active inside of me and embracing them as a woman. 
Some days I feel innocent and pure like a beautiful flower and other times I feel dangerous, seductive, and all-knowing. 

There is power in both – this is the feminine divine."        

The Rake

Often women feel oppressed by the role they are expected to play and the societal expectations placed upon them, urging them to embody qualities such as civility, gentleness, and a desire for commitment and loyalty. However, in reality, relationships often fall short of delivering the romance and loyalty that a woman seeks, leaving her with disappointment, routine, and an endlessly distracted mate. A woman often never feels desired and appreciated enough. She wants attention; however, a man is frequently distracted and unresponsive.    

The rake is the male seducer archetype for this woman. He might be disloyal, dishonest, and immoral but when he desires a woman, even if only for a brief time, he will go to the ends of the earth for her. A slave to his desire, he is bold and audacious which only adds to his appeal. Defined by his lack of self-control, the rake will ardently brave all obstacles, dangers, or husbands to get to the woman he wants. This works as according to Greene; it is an abiding female fantasy to meet a man who gives all totally of himself even if only for a brief time. According to Greene’s book, if you are embodying this archetype and there are no obstacles in your pursuit, you must create an obstacle.    

The Rake needs a backdrop of convention to shine – a conservative culture or a boring marriage to whisk a woman away from. It is this rebellious and dangerous element of the rake that appeals to a suppressed side in women, who are supposed to represent a civilising and moralising force in culture. The rake appears to abandon himself to live only for the moment and is easily able to let himself go and throw caution to the wind. Rakes are incorrigible and face scrutiny and risk mostly from their own gender. Examples include Duan Juan and Elvis. 

The Ideal Lover 

Most people have dreams in their youth that get shattered or worn down with age. They find themselves disappointed by people, events, and reality which cannot match their youthful ideals. In a world of disenchantment and baseness, the ideal lover provides relief.   
The ideal lover archetype is able to study a person’s moods, desires, needs, and voids. They find out what is missing in a person’s life, and provide it. The ideal lover thrives on broken dreams that become lifelong, unfulfilled fantasies about romance and adventure. According to Greene, ideal lovers will adapt to your ideals, and reflect the fantasy or illusion you require. This archetype is increasingly rare in the modern world as it requires an intense effort and focus on someone else.

What is this person they missing? What are they disappointed by? People will often reveal this in subtle ways through gesture, tone of voice, and their eyes. Often our body language will betray us, saying things that words will not. There is always subtext beyond words and conscious behaviour. This role requires patience and attention to detail. Most of us are so impatient and wrapped up in our own needs and desires that we are incapable of truly seeing someone else. The ideal lover is able to appeal to a person’s higher self and encourage the greatness in another. People want someone else to have faith in them and see their untapped potential. In doing this, the ideal lover archetype has acquired power throughout history.

Jeanne Antoinette Poisson, commonly known as Madame de Pompadour, or the Mistress of France, was a member of the French court. She was also the chief and favourite mistress of King Louis XV from 1745 to 1751, who eventually made her duchess. She remained influential until her death. What set Madame de Pompadour apart was her ability to appeal to his latent potential and the crushed ideals within him.

King Louis XV had a powerful inferiority complex and seemed to exhibit a hedonistic lifestyle, often driven by a pursuit of physical pleasures. Seeing past this, Madame De Pompadour observed there was a great man inside the king yearning to come out. Through her influence, King Louis XV underwent a transformation. Previously known for hunting and gambling, he began taking an interest and investing substantial resources into the arts, philosophy, and literature. To alleviate his chronic boredom, she would organise new activities for them to do constantly, and engage him in great conversations, seamlessly transitioning to playing the piano and singing whenever the discussion waned. She was also light-hearted in demeanour, never defensive or resentful. Importantly, beyond merely catering to his sexual desires, Madame de Pompadour held up a mirror to the king, making him see the greatness in himself. John F Kennedy was able to do this politically at a mass scale, to an entire electorate by appealing to America’s lost ideals through the space race during a cold war.

“Most people believe themselves to be inwardly greater than they outwardly appear to the world. They are full of unrealised ideals. They could be artists, thinkers, spiritual figures, but the world has crushed them, denied them the chance to let their abilities flourish.”

Each of us carries inside us ideals of what we want to become, or what we want another person to become for us. This is often rooted in childhood and our unmet needs - what we felt was missing, what others didn’t give to us, what we couldn’t give to ourselves. Our ideal is something we feel is missing inside us. It may be buried in disappointment but it always lurks beneath waiting to be sparked. If another person seems to have that ideal quality or the ability to bring it out in us, this is when we fall in love.

“Love brings to light a lover's noble and hidden qualities, his rare and exceptional traits.” - Friedrich Nietzsche

The dangers of this archetype arise when reality creeps in. You are creating a fantasy that involves an idealisation of your own character and this is a precarious task, for you are human and imperfect. You are hiding behind the façade of ideals. If your faults are ugly or intrusive enough, they will burst the illusion and your target will revile you. Casanova would avoid this by breaking off his relationships before his partners could realise that he was not this idealised version of himself he was outwardly projecting, that he was not what they imagined him to be. He would choose his targets especially if they had to leave town. If the relationship had to end soon, the idealisation of him would be all the more intense. Reality, familiarity, and long intimate exposure have a way of dulling a person’s perfection. When reality intrudes, distance is the solution that enables people to idealise each other again.

The Dandy

Most people feel trapped in the limited binary roles that the world expects us to play within. We are instantly attracted to those more free fluid, and ambiguous than we are. The dandy represents this release from gender and social constraints. This archetype creates its own persona and cannot be categorised. The dandy tends to exhibit a disdain for convention and they possess a freedom we yearn for in ourselves.    

Defined by androgynous play the dandy archetype is enigmatic and elusive often creating and shape-shifting their image. Examples include Elvis, Mick Jagger, and even Harry Styles.   

The key is to adopt qualities of the opposite gender, not so much so that it is off-putting or confronting but just enough that it feels oddly familiar to the opposite sex. To be a dandy you must possess an ambiguity, your sexuality is decidedly heterosexual but your body and psychology will float back and forth between the two feminine and masculine poles. According to Greene, tasteless efforts at being androgynous will just appear as a desperate cry for attention.    

The masculine dandy would be a man who maintains his core masculine identity but is able to incorporate a slight femininity to his character – whether it is a sensitivity that makes him seem more trustworthy, attention to his appearance, or a softness to him. Elvis for example would experiment with makeup and eyeliner which only added to his edge. Masculine dandies often have a dancing prowess to them that also represents freedom to their character. The masculine dandy will use feminine charm to disarm and confuse a woman before making a bold masculine move.    

A feminine dandy would be a woman who looks feminine but adopts masculine traits that are familiar and disarming to a man. She will use a man’s own weapons against him, never giving completely of herself and always retaining an air of independence and self-possession. According to Greene, to be a feminine dandy, you must make your target believe you might move on to the next man, and that you have other more important matters to concern yourself with such as work.    

“"The purely feminine woman will arouse a man’s desire, but she is always vulnerable to a man’s capricious loss of interest. A masculine woman will not arouse this interest at all. A masculine dandy however will neutralise a man’s power.”    

Lou Andreas-Salomé is an example of the feminine dandy. Men had lifelong, unfulfilled infatuations with her, and multiple men committed suicide as a result. One such admirer was Friedrich Nietzsche, who encountered her in Rome in 1882 when she was just 21. During a meeting, she shared a poem she had written, moving Nietzsche to tears, as her perspectives on life, philosophy, and religion closely mirrored his own. Despite multiple marriage proposals, Salomé declined. Nietzsche persisted, however found himself perplexed by her actions. Despite his advances and admiration, Salomé maintained a certain distance and did not acknowledge his affections. As an antidote to his pain and rejection Fredrick Nietzsche wrote the book “thus spoke Zarathustra”    

Salomé revealed her masculine qualities through her firm and uncompromising demeanour, often appearing cold. She would openly criticise marriage as conventional and had an amoral streak with regard to sex. Her hatred of weakness and dependence was familiar to men, yet she looked feminine and graceful, hence inducing two emotions - confusion and excitement. Nevertheless, it was her independent and free spirit that captivated numerous intellectuals, leading them to fall in love with her.       

On another tangential note, I find that the rhetoric posed in this dandy archetype section of this book offers an opportunity to address the way we label and gender characteristics. Positive qualities such as being independent, logical, reasonable, intelligent, and ambitious are often associated with masculinity, while feminine qualities like being emotional and compassionate may carry negative connotations such as being meek, emotional, and irrational. Sexism persists in the way we assign labels to certain qualities. To foster and promote a less skewed perspective on these qualities, recognising that both masculine and feminine attributes contribute to a well-rounded and capable individual is essential. Both attributes are equally important for a well-functioning society.    

Many of us today imagine that we have shifted as a culture, sexual freedom has progressed and we are no longer restricted to binary roles. However, this is merely an illusion. Gender roles will always exist due to biological and social factors. Although society is in a state of constant flux, conformity to the status quo never changes. Conformity is a constant because humans are social creatures – we are always imitating each other. It may be fashionable or trendy to be different or rebellious, but if too many people are playing that role, there is nothing different or rebellious about it anymore. It just becomes the status quo. Rather than complaining about the slavish conformity of others, just remember that their conformity and compliance will offer you new opportunities and possibilities for power.  

The Natural

Childhood is the golden paradise we are always consciously or subconsciously trying to recreate. Adulthood for many is full of compromise and boredom, and so we harbour an illusion of childhood as the golden age, even if it was painful. The natural somehow avoided getting certain childish traits drilled out of them by adult experience. They have preserved a natural vulnerability and embody the three longed-for qualities of childhood - spontaneity, sincerity, and unpretentiousness. This makes them endearing and we feel at ease around them, transported back to our youth.    

Innocent, uncorrupted eyes often vanish through adulthood. It is impossible to grow up in this world and retain total innocence, and those that do will come across as weak and perhaps cognitively impaired. Feign innocence and it comes across as pathetic. However, naturals are able to play up their vulnerabilities or flaws for effect as long as it come from a true place.      
The undefensive lover comes under the natural archetype. As people get older, they protect themselves against painful experiences by closing themselves off. The price for this however is that they grow rigid, physically and mentally. Children are open and receptive naturally, not yet infected by the cynicism of others. The undefensive lover manages to retain this openness and vulnerability which in response makes us more open and less guarded. People often mirror each other. If you act defensive or insecure, you will illicit this in others too. If you are awkward and hesitant you will infect other people with your doubts. The more open you are, the more others are likely to trust you.    

Charlie Chaplin’s characters had an almost pathetic childlike naivety. He would play up his weaknesses almost to the point of caricature as if his characters were all childminds trapped in adult bodies. This vulnerability is appealing in an amoral, cruel world. However, to be overly helpless, or needy is entirely anti-seductive. Be too naïve and you will come across as stupid, immature, and an easy target. A childish quality in adults can be charming but can also be infantile, and irritating, and can evoke feelings of pity and disgust from others.

King Henry James I for example was wild, childish, and lacked self-control. This over time came across as obnoxious and off-putting and is what caused him to make many enemies, eventually leading to his assassination. Never ever proclaim yourself to be a victim or the underdog. Just have a natural confusion and allow others to lower their defences and feel delightfully superior to you.    

Cora Peal was an English courtesan who became incredibly well-known during the Second French Empire. Men were tired of the old calculating courtesans, their intentions and financial motives so obvious. Cora however had a childish, girly spirit which made her come across as innocent and less calculated. Men would naturally want to spoil her. She was also uncivilised, wild, and capricious like an untamed child which made her a challenge. Men would want to tame her and as a result, she was one of the top courtesans in France for over a decade.    

“People are more drawn to those who expect a lot out of life, and whereas tend to be less attracted to those who are fearful, jaded, cynical, or resigned to reality and life."

Cora Peal- The Skilled Courtesan  

The Coquette

The ability to delay satisfaction or gratification is an art in seduction. Make someone wait for something, and let their imagination do the rest. Perhaps the cruelest and most manipulative of all the archetypes, the coquette is a master at toying with emotions and having one oscillate between hope and deep despair or frustration. They are able to intentionally withdraw and distance themselves when it is least expected or will sometimes even withdraw sex as a power tactic. The coquette appears self-sufficient and is often quite narcissistic in nature, their inner core seeming quite detached. They are very hot and cold, projecting a coldness that is distant. This friction or push/pull dynamic often creates desire and drives one’s imagination.  
Josephine Bonaparte at 32, met and seduced Napoleon who was 6 years her junior. He proposed to her the following year despite resistance from his family over the fact that she was widowed with 2 children, and had a loose reputation. Prior to meeting Napoleon, Josephine experienced being minutes away from public execution, almost having her head chopped off on a guillotine. This led to her discernment that she needed a powerful man to insulate herself, and this is likely why she chose Napoleon.   

Josephine was popular with men, but would sometimes leave them so she could sit with Napoleon which flattered his insecure ego. He started visiting her, yet many times she would ignore him and begin talking to other men. He would get upset and leave, however by the next day she would send him a passionate letter, and he would rush back to see her. As soon as he felt close to her, she would have angry fits that would often be followed by tears and theatrics, or she would turn cold. She would make endless excuses as to why she could not visit him during his campaigns, yet he would continue to wear a miniature of her around his neck. Bizarrely she was the master of his heart despite their time together being so short - during a war campaign that lasted almost a year they only spent 15 nights together as newlyweds. During their time apart he would write her those famous passionate letters that would grow only more intense and sexual in nature.

“You are the constant object of my thoughts. My imagination exhausts itself from guessing what you’re doing.”  

According to Greene, Josephine was able to emotionally enslave Napoleon because:

• ​She identified his ambition and weaknesses (he was emotional and aggressive). However, this didn’t intimidate her as it only revealed his insecurity and weakness, it revealed that he would be easy to enslave.

• ​She first adapted to his moods, charmed him, and made him warm to her with her femininity, grace, looks, and manner. As soon as he yearned to possess her, or she had aroused him, her power lay in postponing his satisfaction and withdrawing from him.

• ​She would intentionally frustrate and torture him, however was never put off by his anger and emotion. It was a sure sign of his enslavement.

• ​Her bouts of anger were quickly followed by smiles and her absences weren’t long enough for him to lose interest. In fact, sometimes she would be kind to him for a whole year.

• Napoleon observed Josephine’s independence and self-efficiency and wanted to be the one to make her dependent on him, yet in his pursuit, he became dependent and could never leave her even after their marriage was annulled. 

• ​She never allowed herself to feel threatened by his mistresses, he was always her slave.

If we are always available, familiarity can undermine what we have built, making us less scarce, and easier to take for granted. If access to someone is scarce, it inherently appears to have more value to the human mind. The coquette’s greatest power lies in their ability to pull away and delay satisfaction. Most people miscalculate and ‘lower their market value’ as harsh as that may sound. They will surrender their time, attention, and sex too soon, worried that the other person will lose interest. They give their love, sex, and attention away so easily thinking that it will grant them power, when in fact it does the opposite. Once you satisfy someone, you no longer have initiative and the other person could lose interest at the slightest whim. All this may sound vapid, however human nature has a cruel streak. According to Greene, vanity can be useful – make your target afraid that you may be withdrawing, that you may not really be interested, and you will arouse their innate insecurity.   

We all have the fear that as someone gets closer to us, we might become less appealing, and less exciting to someone. Coquettes will target and take advantage of this fear, arousing innate insecurities. These insecurities are devastating as they will weaken you, and you will grow distracted and emotional in the process. This is when the coquette is able to play their victim like a puppet. We are most vulnerable to manipulation when we are confused, insecure, and in despair. Once the target is broken down and uncertain of themselves, the coquette will reignite hope, making their target feel desired again with hot and cold behaviour. 

“People are inherently perverse. An easy conquest has a lower value than a difficult one. We are excited by what has denied us, what we cannot possess in full.” 

If there is anything we can learn from this archetype it is that withdrawal or detachment commands power. When you hold yourself back or stop talking, often other people will start talking to fill the silence or the gap in space. Humans by nature hate a vacuum, and an emotional silence or distance will make them want to fill up that empty space with words and heat. Be elusive and ambiguous, create space and distance. Let others pursue you, and instead of chasing, attract. The more obliviously we pursue people the more likely we are to chase them away. When the world is full of people who try too hard and impose themselves, perhaps we should adopt the concept of Wu Wei, an Eastern philosophy about in-exertion, the art of not trying. The less we seem to need others, the more likely others will be drawn to us.   

Too much attention to someone can signal a weakness and neediness which is an un-seductive combination. According to Greene trying too hard and being overly attached can come across as claustrophobic and frightening. We only chase things that run away; however, masters of seduction are able to pull back without fear, which only makes them more mysterious. There is power in mystery as it always keeps people off balance and you are able to maintain the element of surprise.   

When a coquette withdraws, we idealise them, build them up in our imagination, and put them on a pedestal, only engaging our own emotions further. Mao Zedong would disappear for days after a big, rousing speech, making his cultish worship stronger. A lot of political leaders used this coquettish tactic. They were all confirmed narcissists. As children, we are naturally narcissistic and self-involved. As we grow up, we are slowly socialised and taught to pay attention to others, however, some adults do not catch on.   

Emperor Xuanzong of the Tang dynasty became infatuated with his son’s wife, coquette Yang Guifei who eventually became his concubine and then his imperial consort. When she was angry, he would shower her with gifts, neglect his duties, even often sending imperial edicts for officials to bring lychees from far away cities for Yang Guifei by horse so they would be fresh by the time they were served to her, as she loved fresh lychees. To make her happy he even promoted her family members as well as her cousin to the role of Prime Minister. The emperor would do everything to please Yang Guifei whenever she was upset, and eventually ruined himself and his kingdom trying to keep her happy.   

In an attempt to embody the coquette archetype, one should proceed with caution as 1. love can transition into irritation, then detachment if the cold and distant bouts last too long, 2. playing on emotions can lead to hatred particularly if your victims are trapped for a long time. Coquettes can have disturbing effects on less stable people. Valerie Solanas for example shot artist Andy Warhol three times almost killing him when she realised his coquettish tactics.     

“Had Josephine been more tender, more attentive, more loving, perhaps Bonaparte would have loved her less. 

Benjamin D​israeli 

Queen Elizabeth 

Rasputin 

The star seducer archetype will occupy your mind or have a presence like a character close up on film that fills the screen. They make us want to know more about them, and they become the glittery object of our fantasies – hence naturally they become objectified symbols of beauty, or martyrs amidst a crowd where most are banal.   

However, the star archetype can be unhealthy, eliciting too much attention from others. Obsessive attention can become disconcerting, exhausting, and destructive. The star cannot disappear for too long or grow too distant either. You cannot haunt people's dreams if they never see you. The star constantly must be moulding their physical presence and adapting their image. If stars don’t renew their luster they face a dire fate: irrelevance, or worse, oblivion.             

“A star is not an ideal or sublime being. She is artificial. Her presence serves to submerge all sensibility andexpression beneath a ritual fascination with the void beneath.”  

The Antiseducer

We all have inherently natural seductive qualities that we can build upon to draw people in. However, we also hold the opposite potential within ourselves – the power of repulsion.      

Seducers draw you in through the focused, individualised attention they pay you. Anti-seducers are the opposite. Insecure, self-involved, and unable to grasp the psychology of another, they repel. They lack the subtlety, and self-awareness to realise when they are imposing, pestering, or talking too much. Anti-seducers almost all share a single attribute - the source of their repellence: insecurity. We are all insecure at times and suffer for it. Yet we are able to surmount these feelings when necessary. It is critical to recognise anti-seductive qualities not only in others but also in ourselves. Almost all of us have 1 or 2 of these qualities latent in our character, and we must do our best to consciously root them out.  

The Tightwad
A lack of generosity is seldom attractive and often an impediment to power. Being unable to give by spending money usually means being unable to give in general. Cheapness signals more than just a problem with money, but an inability to let go, or to take a risk. It is a sign of something constricted in a person’s character. It is the most anti-seductive trait of all, and most tightwads are not self-aware, viewing themselves as generous. We are all probably cheaper than we’d like to think. Giving too much however on the contrary can be a sign of desperation.    

The Brute
Seduction is a slow burn, and a lot of the pleasure lies in the waiting and anticipation. Brutes have no patience and are only concerned with their own pleasure, never with yours. Patience shows you are thinking of the other person. However, brutes only care about their instant gratification. This comes from their ego and growing sense of inferiority. If you want to test people, make them wait for things and see their reaction. You cannot rush people into things.    

“For one who thinks only of the outcome of his own pleasure and ignores the welfare of his partner should be called a traitor, rather than a lover.”     

The Suffocator
Suffucators fall in love with you before you are even half aware of their existence. They suffer from an inner void – a deep well of need that cannot be filled.  We naturally idealise our loved ones but love takes time to develop. Recognise them based on how quickly they adore you. To be admired may give a momentary boost to your ego but deep inside you sense that their intense emotions are not related to anything that you have done.    

The Doormat
Doormats lack identity. They have an inability to disagree with others, which is a bad sign.    

The Moraliser
Never ever parade your morality or lecture and impose on others. Seduction should be a light-hearted game. The moralizer is rigid, following or conforming to fixed ideas. They will try to make you bend to their standards (a lot of political commentators exhibit this character type). They want to change you, to make you a better person, so they endlessly criticise and judge. That is their only pleasure in life. In truth, their moral ideas stem from their own unhappiness and mask their desire to dominate those around them. They will not accept you for who you are. Their inability to adapt and their mental rigidity can make them easier to recognise. In addition to being excessively judgmental, they might also exhibit physical stiffness. Morality is a form of power, and they feel empowered by feeling morally superior to others.          

The Bumbler
They are awkward or self-conscious, which heightens your own insecurities. This is actually a form of narcissism or self-absorption because you know they are thinking about themselves, worried about how they look, or how they are perceived, and unable to surrender to the moment. This awkwardness, insecurity, and self-consciousness is contagious. The key to seduction is boldness and confidence, a conviction.    

The Windbag
They won’t shut up. People who take a lot, most often talk about themselves. They have never acquired that inner voice of self-awareness that wonders, “Am I boring you?” This comes from deep-rooted selfishness and insecurity.    

The Reactor
Do they argue with an unusual tenacity? The reactor is easily triggered. They are far too sensitive, not to you, but to their own egos. They comb your every word and action for signs of a slight to their vanity. They interpret the slightest ambiguity on your part as an insult. Then, if you strategically back off, which is necessary for seduction, they will lash out at you. They see the merest hint of withdrawal as a betrayal and are likely to whine and complain (2 very anti-seductive traits). Test them by telling a gentle joke or story at their expense and see how they react. We should all be able to laugh at ourselves a little, but the reactor cannot. You will be able to read the resentment in their eyes. Erase any reactive dualities in your character. Don’t view life from the lens of your own ego.   

The Vulgarian
This character is vulgar, inattentive to details, and easily gives in to their impulses. They will blab, saying anything in public, and have no sense of timing. Defined by a lack of taste, class, and sophistication they are indiscrete, potentially talking to others about your personal affair or private body parts. The true source of this is their radical selfishness, and a lack of consideration with others, mixed with the inability to see themselves as others see them. Make yourself their opposite by having tact, style, and paying attention to detail. Inattention can lead to resentment from a partner. We all want to be seen.    

Ulterior Motives
If someone is cold and calculating or has clear ulterior motives for money, power, and fame, this is also inherently anti-seductive.    

Inattentiveness
Inattention can lead to resentment from a partner. We all don’t want someone to just look, but to truly see us. Not just to hear, but truly listen. Nothing is more belittling than being paid no attention by the person whom we trust to see and understand us. This inattentiveness can indicate an insensitivity to our needs. A lot of people pay too little attention to signals, and details, as their senses are dulled by work, hardship, self-absorption, and the demands of life. This insensitivity can also be a self-protection, or a coping mechanism for some growing up. This grows prevalent in long-term relationships, and often the one who has been cheated on was the one who was inattentive.        

When attempting to disengage with an anti-seducer, the more emotional of a response you show, the more engaged you will seem to be – you will lose. Seduction is a game of slowly filling the other person’s mind with your presence. Nagging, talking a lot, and suffocating will create the opposite effect. So will distance and inattention. Don’t get angry, instead act aloof and indifferent and you will make them feel how little they matter to you.    

“Love is diminished through easy accessibility, or when you realise your lover is foolish, causes you embarrassment, rushes you, or he acts fearful in a way that is cowardly.”

Vulnerable to Being a Victim?

Our unmet needs, or what we perceive we lack, can often stem from childhood. These dominant 'lacks' make us vulnerable to being seduced. Remember, a fully contented person cannot be seduced. 

In order to foster a better relationship with ourselves, it is good to assess our subconscious drivers. Check in with yourself. 

What do you feel is currently missing? 
What was missing from your youth? 
What are your voids, needs, and desires?     
Remember, if you do not control your desire, your desire will control you.    

This self-awareness can give us more autonomy over our choices, rather than being swayed by others, stumbling through life, not knowing why we make the decisions we make, and why we are drawn to certain people, falling victim to fate, others, and circumstance.   

C.G. Jung — 'Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate.'    

People will often target you when you are vulnerable; in this sense, we are not too different from other animals. Just look at the psychology of sexual predators, groomers, scammers, toxic people, or manipulative narcissists as an example.   

This means we must be aware of the signals we are giving out, particularly when vulnerable. People are constantly giving out signals as to what they lack. If you want to find out, just get someone to talk about their past, particularly past romances, and slowly the outline of these missing pieces will come into view.    

Nobody really feels fully whole and complete, we all have gaps in our character, something we feel we need but cannot get on our own. Although the process is often unconscious, we usually fall in love with people who offer the illusion of filling this gap. People long for completion, whether this is illusion or reality. If this ‘completion’ comes from another person, this person will have tremendous power over you.    

Robert Greene’s book also goes into great detail about seductive process, as well as the 18 victim archetypes. These archetypes are characterised by what is missing in life for example ‘the failed dreamer’ would easily be seduced by an ‘ideal lover’ archetype or ‘the crushed star’ could fall victim to ‘the charmer’ archetype. Greene states that victims in seduction are almost always willing due to their needs, and we must expunge the habit of assuming that other people must have the same needs and desires as we do.  

And to conclude..

Seduction is a form of persuasion that seeks to bypass consciousness, stirring the unconscious mind instead. ‘The Art of Seduction’ by Robert Greene offers a confronting view of humanity. My instinct when reading the book initially was to put it down. I was resistant to the rhetoric posed in this book – it initially presented as amoral, and manipulative and seemed to commodify people. However, the commodification of people for sex or power is a universal aspect of human nature. It serves as a reminder that we have not bypassed our primitive and biological instincts.    

The book equipped me with the ability to discern when I have been manipulated in the past and recognise when others were weaponising my psychology and emotion against me. Instead of being beholden to other people or circumstance, when you understand what is happening at a deeper level – the complex interplay of tactics being used against you, it is easier to break free from the illusion or shackles of something or someone else.    

A morally righteous perspective would have made this book less polarising. However, the amorality in this book was necessary to provide these insights into human psychology. We like to think we are beyond primitive behaviour. We are not. Although the acquisition of sex and power represents the base parts of humanity that we like to ignore, seduction emerges as perhaps the guiding principal force of mankind and evolution.